You do not have to be Good; Just Remember to Breathe
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver is one of the most beautifully raw works written to date. When I stumbled across a live reading of it on TikTok by Oliver herself on a random Tuesday afternoon, I was brought to tears. It released a weight I hadn’t even noticed I’d been carrying.
In the midst of hustle culture, mantras of eat or be eaten and endless performance, what does it mean to just be? To dream, to plan, to try, to fail, to try again and know that, after all of it, you belong exactly there. That you will always return to yourself.
To Strive
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
It’s exhausting to long for something new. Whether it’s for a new career, walk of life or relationship. A fresh start or a pressing dream.
Like me, going into my last year of undergrad hoping and praying I get everything I’ve longed for as this chapter comes to an end. Or that freshly post-grad longing for a new sense of clarity. An answer to the question: what now?
All of this is to say you do deserve it. You don’t have to sit begging for forgiveness, wondering what could’ve been, crushed under the weight of regrets.
“If I could go back this would be better.”
“If I’d tried harder at this I’d be here.”
You belong. Sure, some things could’ve gone differently, but don’t allow that to keep you down, from continuing to blossom. Even deserts eventually grow flowers after a dry season.
To Fall
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
A lot of people struggle with the fall. Who wouldn’t? It’s so easy to make a misstep and stay there.
Didn’t get into the program you were hoping for? The job you wanted? The relationship you thought would last a lifetime? You lost the friendship of someone you saw as a future bridesmaid?
It’s not shameful to lament your disappointment. To cry and grieve. I wish more people knew that.
Reach out to those you love most, I’m sure they’ll be able to relate. You both can revel in that feeling of “what the fuck am I doing here?” Share your war scars, open up about what pains you day in and day out, just don’t remain in the remnants of the memories too long.
To Flourish
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
What would it mean to believe that the goal or dream you’re chasing, is chasing you just as hard? After a week, a month, a lifetime of drowning, to finally remember… you can swim. In this world that spins you up, spins you down, and leaves your dreams completely turned around, you have an active role to play in the shaping of who you become.